This weekend an unwelcome visitor arrived, unannounced…and by the look of things she is here to stay for a few days. Unfortunately, this visitor does not take the subtle and unsubtle hints that it’s time to leave, as my family have made other plans. I’m sorry, but this time my unwelcome visitor, you are just not welcome.
Let me take a moment to introduce you to this unwelcome visitor…meet ‘Flare’, Flare likes to make an appearance every now and then, to remind me that I have Lupus SLE. Lupus SLE (Systemic Lupus Erythematosus), basically for me, means that my immune system doesn’t work properly and tends to behave rather hyperactively. When Flare visits, she brings with her a bag laden with the following things: fatigue, Joint pain, a facial rash and mouth ulcers. Can you begin to see why Flare is not a welcome guest?
Since Pumpkin has been born, there is an additional item in Flare’s bag, ‘Mummy Guilt’; this makes the physical pain bearable in comparison to the emotional pain of rearranging plans to make the day more manageable, yet fun for Pumpkin. In this case it was having to cancel pre-made plans to go out for the day, but instead it was now a day at home, with maybe a gentle walk at the end of the day. Of course, Pumpkin is only 11 months old, and he does not understand our daily plans, except roughly when food/milk is due and when he is tired and boy does he let us know!
I have found it hard this weekend to keep the happy Mummy face on, trying my hardest not to let it slip to show that Mummy is in pain; and most importantly to me, not letting Pumpkin know. Even when he happily jumps about on my legs as the sleeping bunnies wake and hop all over the front room… keeping things hop hop hop not ouch ouch ouch! Mr Tumble has a lot to answer for, but a lot to be thankful for this weekend!
For a brief moment, I worried about what Flare would bring in her bag for future visits as Pumpkin gets older. For a fleeting moment, I was a little worried and then I got excited and my imagination ran away from me. The quiet days in will be what and wherever our imaginations take us; from dens in the front room rain forest, to a pirate ship made out of Mummy and Daddy’s Bed. There are so many adventures our little family can have on quiet day’s at home, so perhaps Flare may become a welcome guest, you never know.
For more information on Lupus, please take the time to visit http://www.lupus.org.uk based at Guys and St Thomas Hospital, who have been absolutely amazing since my diagnosis in 2011.